um, a gripe

Dear Young Woman Who Almost Killed Me Yesterday,

So, I'm a 21st century dude, myself, and I have fallen victim to the digital connectivity of being a driver and one who is attached to the world. Still, I keep my phone in my pocket so the temptation is minimal. That is why I'm thankful that karma was on our side yesterday when I was running and you didn't change both of our lives forever. You didn't kill me.

But you came close.

I was running on Smith Road when you came speeding along my side, crossing over the double lines while listening to the effervescent rap song that blurted, "Baby, I wake up thinking of your Pu**y/you'll see/your Pu**y's on my mind." I've never heard that particular song before, but that was what you were playing while you were also texting when you should have been driving defensively. You came close - so close I could see your ATM machine cleavage popping through the window, and I know I surprised you because you swerved to miss me.

Now, you were cute at the moment listening to the song that was obviously degrading to women all around the world, and I imagine you liked your outfit, which is not my gripe. My issue was with the texting while driving because you almost hit me.

No, I wouldn't have enjoyed that much. That is why I post this today. Be careful Young Woman Who Almost Killed Me Yesterday. Drive smarter next time.